When we were in ICU with Garren, we had to adjust quickly to a new norm. We had to learn to get used to a whole new way of life. We studied our new environment and learned how to survive. We got to know nurses and doctors. We became comfortable with our new changes.
Then one day they started talking about moving us out of the ICU. What? We had just regained at least an illusion of control in our lives. We had just gotten used to the way things were. We were becoming attached to some of the nurses. The thought of moving on had not even crossed our minds.
We moved, and guess what? Each day we have become more and more comfortable in rehab. We have gotten to know some of the nurses. We have become comfortable in our new environment.
We can see this pattern in every area of life. Churches, restaurants, schools, jobs...we quickly become comfortable with a certain way of doing things. And when something changes the response is not always what it should be. The problem is that we think we have control over our environments. The reality is that we do not have control at all, we have the illusion of control. And when we feel like we are losing control, we panic. We don't know what to do.
One of the things I've realized even more over the last 6 weeks is that we really are not in control. From the AVM in Garren's brain, to the lack of understanding that the doctors have about brain injuries and recovery, it is very clear that we do not control anything.
Something I've learned to hang onto even more over the last 6 weeks is that God is in control. Though our lives seem to be spinning out of control, God is working His mysterious plan together for His own glory, for His ultimate good.
What are you hanging on to? What are you trying so desperately to control? The one thing in life that won't change is that everything can and will eventually change. It's not our job to try and control it. It's our job to stay close to Jesus, to follow Him in obedience, and to trust that He is in control. He will not lead you astray.