It's been a chaotic couple of days. We've had all kinds of health care people in and out of the house, helping us get Garren settled. They are all very good at what they do, but when things don't go according to my plan, I tend to get a little agitated. I felt like a dog backed into a corner. I felt threatened. This is my house after all, we'll do this my way. You're on my turf now. Like a dog backed into a corner, I began to lash out. I didn't yell and scream, but I didn't have the greatest attitude either. But hey, it's my house, right?
Today our new physical therapist came by to meet Garren, and to go over some things with us. I was tired of dealing with new people walking in my house and taking over. I said some things to her in a way that really wasn't very kind. She was very kind, and I was cordial by the time I had to leave.
Then this evening I got an email from her:
"Several of us at work, including myself attend Southbrook Weddington. We know of you and have heard you speak at our services. We have followed your blog and prayed for you, Garren and your family."
That was the punch in the gut. Not from the P.T. that wrote it (She was not in anyway criticizing me or trying to make me feel bad. I am thankful for the email). I was immediately convicted by the Holy Spirit. I have been representing myself and my family on this blog as people of God. I talk about how I want to be God honoring in everything I say and do. And then I turned around and my actions were anything but God honoring.
Why am I sharing this? It's a stark reminder to us all - we never know who's watching us. We never have the right to forget that as followers of Christ, we represent not just ourselves, not just our church, but God Almighty.
Thank you P.T. for your desire to work with Garren. I am honored to have you working with him and us.
Garren took a couple more baby steps today. I worked on some therapy with him on my own this morning. I was doing some exercises to stimulate his face and mouth muscles. I talked about his smile a couple of days ago. So today I asked him to pucker up, like a kiss. He thought for a minute, and then he did! I about fell over, not sure if I should laugh or cry. Later when Nancy was there I had him do it again. She leaned over and accepted a kiss from her son, the first in over two months.
Another one of Garren's exercises is to try and push a small piece of ice out of his mouth with tongue. Tonight I put the ice in his mouth, and almost immediately he pushed it out. We did it a couple more times.
Garren is really working on his swallowing as well. Nancy and I have both seen him swallow a couple of times. Nothing consistent yet, but he's learning.
Tonight looks like it should be a restful night for all. Things have settled down. I pray that Garren is able to get some good sleep tonight. I can't wait to see what he does tomorrow!